What Would You Do with a Free Cremation?

Our latest free t-shirt contest!

Imagine that you are a brilliant marketing copy writer. You are sitting at your desk one Friday morning when your irate boss walks in the door.

Uncharacteristically red-faced and clearly extremely angry, he tells you that the client from the mortuary which ordered this mailer had been chewing him out all morning.

Your boss wants to know exactly what you were thinking when adding this phrase to the envelope.

Free Pre-Paid Cremation! Details Inside”

How would you reply to your boss?

Throw up your suggested reply in the comments by Friday, June 10th. You’ve got a week to get clever!

A free chickenmonkeydog t-shirt will be shipped to whoever submits the editors’ favorite reply!


  1. I’d tell my boss that the envelopes come packaged with weapons-grade anthrax and that the opener will: (1) die, (2) not be able to pre-pay for any free cremation, and (3) now need burial services!

    That should lead to one very satisfied client.

  2. Hey, if it got my boss’s attention that means it probably will get potential clients’ attention. This means they will probably will be intrigued by the comment and therefore will open the letter to find out the details, thus increasing our client list because they will find more information and be hooked on our company.

  3. Sorry to not answer the question but… I think they may have missed a marketing gem here:

    “Freemation – Details inside”

  4. I’d reply: “You’re right boss, we’re being a bit too presumptuous. Maybe they’d prefer a burial instead! I’ll change the mailer right away to read ‘Free pre-paid cremation or discounted burial'”

  5. @ Forkboy1965 –

    Great news! You’ve won our comment competition. Congratulations!

    We’ll be in touch via email to make arrangements to send you a FREE t-shirt.

    And, we would be remiss if we did not extend an Honorable Mention to Pete for his coining of the hilarious term of freemation.

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