World’s Worst Brand Names

I was walking through a discount grocery store the other day and the placed was filled with fake brand names such as “Ireos” for cream cookies. Seeing such clear cases of copy-catting, I started thinking about brand names. There’s no end to rip-off brand names but maybe we can take it one step further.

So today’s post is more of a game: Can you come up with the world’s worst brand name for the following items?

Just to get you started off, one idea I had for bottled water was “Dysentery”

  • Shirts
  • Bread
  • Chocolate
  • Milk
  • Underwear
  • Pencils
  • Laptop
  • Restaurant
  • Department store
  • Car
  • Toothpaste

Obviously, we at CMD would never presume to limit your creativity so if there are other items and brand names that you think of, please do share.


  1. “Pits” the gentleman’s choice for quality, tailored shirts

    “PaperWeight” laptops

    And the latest new brand of cars: “Lemon”

  2. Shirts: Mssrs Rip & Torn Quality Top Wear

    Bread: Soggy’s Loaf

    Chocolate: Wizzo Chocolate Company (borrowed)

    Milk: Mad Cow Milk Co-Op

    Underwear: Skidz Undies – The Mark of Quality

    Pencils: Get The Lead Out

    Laptop: Thigh Blistering Laptop Limited

    Restaurant: Booger King

    Department Store: We’ve Got Nothing

    Car: (lemon was too good)

    Toothpaste: McInerney’s Irish Whisky Tooth Polish & Sterling Silver Cleaner

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