Avoid Leaping from Your Crotch

File this post under, ‘How did they ever pounce upon a need for this sign?’:

Danger, do not jump off groyne

I mean, come on boys and girls, who needs a large sign with bold black lettering to tell us that using one’s private parts as a base for leaping is going to be dangerous, if not downright painful.

18 comments

  1. Aren’t they referring to the breakwater?? I agree not all will know what ‘groyne’ means but in the interest of their own, er, welfare, people may want to find out 🙂

  2. First off – Owww.

    Second – Why is the sign warning you not to jump from the “groyne” both at the bottom of the jump and facing the other direction, so it would be impossible to read from up above?

  3. That’s the weirdest warning board I have ever seen.. There should be a board on top of this board stating
    WARNING! Typo ahead” or something like that

  4. @ Conall –

    To give the sign-posters their due, they have posted additional signage above the ‘groyne’. Those signs are just not in this photo.

  5. @ Balu –

    You know, I am starting to wonder if the sign-makers might just actually have a great sense of humour. They could have used wording like ‘break-water’ or ‘sea-wall’, but instead chose ‘groyne’. The sign-makers may just be having the last laugh!

  6. In any event jumping off a groyne is probably safer than jumping onto a groyne, at least for the person jumping, maybe not for the groyne.

  7. @ Mark – Well, that’s probably true. One’s groyne would most likely prefer the removal of pressure from the foot, rather than the application of pressure. Well pointed out there. Thanks for that!

  8. @ Liam:

    Weird are the ways of the English language. It morphs and fits the purpose – or not but I found a priceless site today which will illustrate other ways it has morphed. The site is engrish.com. Enjoy 🙂

  9. @ Shefaly

    That site is full of hilarious pictures. Thanks for sharing. I have got to wonder what percentage of the signs and translations are done to be funny, versus being done accidentally. I think you may get funnier results when you have poor translations, but there certainly are plenty of poorly worded signs even when the sign maker is writing in his / her native language!

  10. Has either of the chickenmonkeydog writers considered the unfortunate naming of the last three posts when considered in order of oldest to newest post? Red Pepper Challenge, Open Your Drawers and Avoid Leaping From Your Crotch. I am alone in thinking that if one were to read titles alone the content of chickenmonkeydog is not only very, very painful, but also a bit on the lewd side?

  11. @ Liam: One can buy entire posters of badly written Inglish (Indian English) in India.

    But the real fun in Inglish is in the bi-lingual puns. Amul is an Indian brand of butter and milk products. Their advertising has had one constant over the years – a cartoon girl. The rest is just high-context tag-lines the copywriters generate based on current events and news.

    See the first one on this link:

    http://www.amul.com/2008hits/page6.html

    The word ‘lafa’ means a loose slap, real or metaphorical. So ‘Rafa ka Lafa’ means a Rafa’s loose slap, presumably to Federer.

    And see the last one too. 🙂

  12. @ Liam:

    My favourite is an old one from when Brangelina were in India. It goes:

    “Brad Butter? A Jolie good idea!” 🙂

  13. Hi All!

    I am new around here, following Shefaly’s recommendation on another blog.

    The Online Etymology Dictionary yields this bit of further enlightenment about Groyne: “strong, low sea wall,” 1582, from obsolete groin “pig’s snout” (because it was thought to look like one), from O.Fr. groin; from L. grunnire “grunt” (which I guess cannot be avoided by most people indulging in the action cautioned against).

  14. @ Vivek,

    Welcome, welcome! Thanks for visiting. And thanks for posting a comment. I must remember to thank Shefaly for that kind recommendation.

    Very extensive research you’ve done. I am impressed. I love the Latin for grunt. ‘Et tu, Brutae?’, grunnired Julius Caesar as he lay dying on the floor of the Roman Senate. (Ok, my Latin is a little rusty …)

  15. @ Liam,

    Thanks. “Research” is no big deal. Just a click of a button, tempered by due discretion. Yes, I can see what you mean by “rusty”. That ‘a’ is certainly an accretion of redundant hydrated ferric oxide 🙂 . As long as you pronounce Brute as two syllables it’s entirely dispensable.

  16. @ Conall,

    The idiosyncrasy you point out is to help you change your mind at the last moment before impact, after you have already jumped in a longer arc than you had planned to. For good measure I would paint the opposite-facing board with upside-down text for the extra-adventurous who elect to dive.

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