While surfing the news this week in the AP News mobile app, I stumbled across a news story about how to avoid trouble with black bears. I thought that must have been a fun article to draft, and probably required a number of revisions before the AP editor approved the article for publication.
Tips for avoiding conflicts with black bears
by chickenmonkeydog.com
- Don’t insult their mothers.
- Don’t use honey as sun tan lotion (sun cream).
- Don’t mention your bearskin rug in casual conversations.
- Don’t try to impress them with the strength of your “human hug”.
- Don’t remind them that brown bears and polar bears are much bigger, more muscular and are more popular in nature shows on TV.
The real article is available online via AP News in the event you require useful information.
Do not EVER mention Winnie the Pooh! Personal experience. Trust me. I now have a mortal enemy bear. You do not want a mortal enemy bear. Just saying.
Don’t mention that Ted Nugent was over at your house last weekend grilling up some steaks from his freezer.
Don’t ask if Yogie is a black bear. For that matter, don’t mention Boo Boo either.
Yogie was a white catcher for the New York Yankees.
@ Jordan,
Ha-ha! Yogi Bear, sans the e.