If You’re That Hard Up for Money

(1) How hard up for money do you have to be before you start shaking down a package of tea?

(2) Is the parenthetical instruction directed at the drinker?

(3) Do you want to drink something that instructs you to fold over after you drink it?  Surely, that’s better than consuming something that forces you to double-over in pain, but I have to admit, I am nervous about why this voluntary action is necessary.