How Stupid Warning Signs Are Born

I bought a safe the other day from B&Q, one with an electronic keypad, and a back-up key in case the batteries die unexpectedly. As I was putting the safe into a cabinet (can’t tell you where or that’d be a security breach, for darned sure), the bright yellow sticker in the top left corner caught my eye.

I had to look twice at the little yellow sign to make sure I was reading it correctly:

I had to laugh. And then I got to thinking about how B&Q decided that it needed a bright yellow sticker on the safe warning people not to lock the emergency back-up keys in the safe.

B&Q Customer Service Telephone Hotline Rep: Thank you for ringing B&Q. How can I help?

Clueless Customer: Hi. I need some help. I bought one of your safes and can’t seem to get it open.

B&Q Rep: Ok, sure. Can you please be more specific on what you mean by you can’t seem to get the safe open?

Customer: Exactly that. The safe’s locked. I can’t open it.

B&Q Rep: (Sighs) Right then. Have you tried entering the code on the touch-pad?

Customer: Can’t. The screen’s all blank. Hitting the keys doesn’t do anything.

B&Q Rep: Oh, well, in that case, we can use the back-up keys. Do you have the two keys that came with the safe about?

Customer: (A pause) Um … no. They are in the safe. I didn’t want to lose them. Wanted to keep them safe, you know. Isn’t there, like a safety release on the safe somewhere?

B&Q Rep: (Sound of muffled laughter) Um, no. That’s why we call it a ‘safe’. The idea is to make it difficult for people without the passcode or a key to access the safe.